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About Me Member Lyrics Writer Ashley Whittaker17/Male/Australia Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Years
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Linkin Park Stamp

This is a stamp dedicated to my all time favourite band: Linkin Park.

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My Dilemma

Fri Oct 23, 2009, 7:22 PM
Hey everybody,
A lot has gone down over these past several months (dammit, again I'm sorry I didn't keep you posted sooner) and my head is overwhelmed with a whole lot of different feelings and issues.

So let's get down to some of the major issues that have gone down over these last several months, starting with the progress in my NEW relationship with my wonderful girlfriend. Yes, it happened, I told the woman I love how I felt about her, and as luck would have it, she has feelings for me.
We have now been officially dating for over 3 months, and for the first time in my life, my life has meaning! I admit our relationship did take a rocky start since we were so used to be just friends. We didn't know where to start, luckily I had friends who gave me some pointers.
We started holding hands a couple of weeks in, then moved on to intimate hugs, followed by cuddling, now we are just at the stage where it SHOULD be alright to kiss on a regular basis. We have a little trouble trying to make that work, but I am confident that a few more dates will be all we need to be able to kiss each other regularly (I hope).

But alas, it hasn't always been smooth sailing in this relationship. I have been feeling quite upset and depressed recently about something a friend told me my girlfriend was doing. It really hurt me to hear what she was doing. Apparently, according to her, she was being flirty with other guys behind my back. It really pissed me off, but I knew she would never do that.
I got around to calling her about the issue once a friend told her I wasn't feeling alright about the issue. My intuition I preceded told me correctly. When I told her I heard about the issue, she immediately told me that it never happened and she would never do anything like that. I was relieved and at the same time so foolish to doubt that she would do something like that.

Experiencing all the hurt feelings over that last issue gave me a new perspective that I wasn't happy with. I was feeling so depressed that I didn't see a point to carry the relationship on. But I did because I love her ever so much. I expressed my depression through songs that alluded darkness to the situation. This sparked an interest to fabrics or darkness that I was blind not to see which links to my problems.
So here is where it stands; Jean and I are still in love, but we need to improve our relationship a little. But if in any way, she results in breaking in my heart (which I know and trust that she won't) I will have choice but to abandon all things good and stop hoping for better. I will change myself to someone others do not see inside of me...
If the result happens it will prone me to be more darker and more helpless to good. A Goth!

-Ashley

  • Mood: Depressed
  • Listening to: blink 182 - I Miss You
  • Reading: Whatever is in my head
  • Watching: What im doing..... duhhh.

deviantID

I want a muffin!!! ^_^
I love music....
I am a very experienced R/C race driver...
I spend a lot of time in front of both idiot boxes....
I love anime...

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: 3 Honeyeater Rtt, Armadale, WA, Australia
  • Interests: War/Strategy/Racing Games, RC Cars, WWE
  • Favourite movie: Transformers, Role Models & Final Fantasy VII
  • Favourite band or musician: LINKIN PARK!!!, Avenged Sevenfold, AFI, Slipknot, Rise Against & Bullet For My Valentine
  • Favourite genre of music: Metal, thrash, heavy and Nu & Punk/Emo
  • Favourite artist: Jess and Arctic
  • Favourite poet or writer: George Orwell, Mathew Reilly
  • Favourite style of art: Anime and Gothic
  • Operating System: Windows XP
  • MP3 player of choice: One that plays videos
  • Wallpaper of choice: Linkin Park or Gothic
  • Skin of choice: Goth
  • Favourite game: Halo 3, GTA4, Saints Row 2 & Final Fantasy X-2
  • Favourite gaming platform: PS2, XBox 360 and computer (of course)
  • Favourite cartoon character: RIKKU!
  • Personal Quote: Artificial intelligence is no match for Natural stupidity!

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Comments


:iconproud-auzzie-club:
ozzie ozzie ozzie,
oi oi oi!! come join our club!!

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Ozzie Ozzie Ozzie, Oi Oi Oi :heart:
:iconstephnator:
I LOVE LINKIN PARK TOO!! I LIKE THEIR SONG SHADOW OF THE DAY!!

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Whazzup!!!!!!!!! It's Sil from youtube!!!!!
:iconminkeymonkey:
thanks for the fave :)
xxx

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"I heard a winter tree in song
Its leaves were birds, one hundred strong
And all at once it ceased to sing
For all its leaves had taken wing"
:iconxfadedtoblackx:
Thanks for the fav!

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Check out my portfolio: [link]
Join TheGazettEClub - [link]
:iconsydia:
Thank you very much for faving my piece called "yuna final fantasy X-2" at [link] , i'm glad you appreciated it ^_^

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Fallen angels at my feet
Whispered voices at my ear
death before my eyes
lying next to me i fear...

:butterflytwo: [Whisper, Evanescence]:butterflytwo:
:icondarklarxi:
Thx for the Favo <3

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It's Milli Vanilli <3
:iconriamali:
Thanks for the fav :wave:

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:butterflytwo: :butterfly: :butterflytwo: :butterfly: :butterflytwo: :butterfly: :butterflytwo:
:icontrineax:
Thankz joouuu for da favvie and watchies :cuddle:
Means a lot to me ^,..,^
:icontardglompplz:
Kind Regards,
Chris

P.S.
Animmeeee~~ *drool*

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-But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams-
:iconandyserrano:
Ashley,
:iconrudeboyskunkplz::iconrudeboyskunkplz2::iconrudeboyskunkplz3: on Los Angeles. I'm glad I could share my cityscape with you. This kind of photo can only be capture on a very windy day when the smog is chased away.
— Andy

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Inter-dimensional portal to my gallery contents :gallery: [link]

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