Hey everybody,
A lot has gone down over these past several months (dammit, again I'm sorry I didn't keep you posted sooner) and my head is overwhelmed with a whole lot of different feelings and issues.

So let's get down to some of the major issues that have gone down over these last several months, starting with the progress in my NEW relationship with my wonderful girlfriend. Yes, it happened, I told the woman I love how I felt about her, and as luck would have it, she has feelings for me.
We have now been officially dating for over 3 months, and for the first time in my life, my life has meaning! I admit our relationship did take a rocky start since we were so used to be just friends. We didn't know where to start, luckily I had friends who gave me some pointers.
We started holding hands a couple of weeks in, then moved on to intimate hugs, followed by cuddling, now we are just at the stage where it SHOULD be alright to kiss on a regular basis. We have a little trouble trying to make that work, but I am confident that a few more dates will be all we need to be able to kiss each other regularly (I hope).

But alas, it hasn't always been smooth sailing in this relationship. I have been feeling quite upset and depressed recently about something a friend told me my girlfriend was doing. It really hurt me to hear what she was doing. Apparently, according to her, she was being flirty with other guys behind my back. It really pissed me off, but I knew she would never do that.
I got around to calling her about the issue once a friend told her I wasn't feeling alright about the issue. My intuition I preceded told me correctly. When I told her I heard about the issue, she immediately told me that it never happened and she would never do anything like that. I was relieved and at the same time so foolish to doubt that she would do something like that.

Experiencing all the hurt feelings over that last issue gave me a new perspective that I wasn't happy with. I was feeling so depressed that I didn't see a point to carry the relationship on. But I did because I love her ever so much. I expressed my depression through songs that alluded darkness to the situation. This sparked an interest to fabrics or darkness that I was blind not to see which links to my problems.
So here is where it stands; Jean and I are still in love, but we need to improve our relationship a little. But if in any way, she results in breaking in my heart (which I know and trust that she won't) I will have choice but to abandon all things good and stop hoping for better. I will change myself to someone others do not see inside of me...
If the result happens it will prone me to be more darker and more helpless to good. A Goth!

-Ashley

Hey everyone,
Sorry it has taken over a year for me to post a new journal entry here. I can't believe I went through 2008 without posting something here. There's a lot I wanna talk about, but I won't go into too much of the yacking on I do.

So where do I begin?
I'll just start with some of the brief things in 2008 that happened but never got around to posting up here.
One second thought... you guys don't wanna hear what happened last year. 2008 has already flown out the window.

So I'll just keep you up to date with what's going down at the moment. I'm just gonna get right down to the point. Lately I've been feeling different feelings for someone who I've shared a very close relationship going on 5 years now. Needless to say I think I am in L.O.V.E with someone! We genuinely have a very good friendly relationship going on at the moment with many people telling me I should probably take it to the next level: tell her how I feel! Normally, before I confessed I had feelings for her, I would turn around and deny that I liked her in that way. But those days have caught up with me, and now everyone wants to see us together -- on account that we, apparently, look cute together!

Now since I have confessed these feelings of loving her in more than a friend way, there's only the problem of how I tell her how I feel about her. She possesses a personality that makes her a bitch at times (I never felt this cause our friendship is good where she doesn't decide to aggregate me), but also a friendly, loving and fun person to be around -- not to mention her light sense of kindness to anyone she walks up to. She is one of those people that will not have any problem giving people hugs - even when it's not necessary - she'll just do it just to be friendly. And she is quite nice if you say the right things around her..... but piss her off, and you'll be sorry!

I think deep down she kind of likes me the same way that I do for her (or at least I am hoping). I don't know whether it is true, but she may apparently sense that I may like her more than a friend so she does all these really nice things for me - like she is trying to get me to tell her how I feel!
I aim to tell her how I feel exactly one way or another - she has to know!

I love her <3
-Ashley

P.S. Once again I apologize for taking this long to update my journal here.

Hi guys.

Last night was the killer concert by Linkin Park in Perth, and I was so glad I went, they literally rocked the fucking building, it was absolutely incredible.
It was the first time LP came to Perth for a concert and I was glad I was apart of it. We gave them a standing ovation when they came out we were wailting in anticipation for over an hour, but it was well fucking worth it. The seats wern't that bad although I gotta say, if I was any closer I would be deaf for sure, but I'm convinced: the next time they play in Perth I am so fucking going again because it rocked so well I am going to stand In the pit rather than sitting down.

Here's the songs they played last night (not in order in which they were played):
-Papercut
-One Step Closer
-Points Of Authority
-Crawling
-In The End
-Cure for The Itch (Mr Hahn only)
-Pushing Me Away
-Don't Stay
-Somewhere I Belong
-Lying From You
-Faint (Final Song)
-Breaking The Habit
-From The Inside
-Numb
-Wake
-Given Up
-Bleed It Out
-Shadow of The Day
-What I've Done
-Hands Held High
-No More Sorrow (Intro song)
-The Little Things Give You Away

22 songs!

The introduction, in my opinion, was the best part of the performance. My friend was a little disappointed that they didn't play 'By Myself' and 'With You' as they are his favourite songs.
Even the crowd was rucus the entire night (hardcore LP fans) each song they played they recived a standing ovation at the beginning and the end of the song. Possibly the songs the crowd loved the most were, 'In The End', 'Numb' and/or 'Crawling'.

I cannot wait til they come back again!
Peace y'all
ashleywhttkr

Ha-ha finally the awesome band, Linkin Park, has come to West Australia to put on a concert at the Burswood Dome for one night only on Thursday the 18th of October, which is less than 2 months away.

...and wait for it: I GET TO GO SEE IT!

But there are two problems:
1) Cameras aren't allowed in the venue so i can't take pictures and share them on DEV. (Which is sad because those would be an excellent present for DEV's 7th birthday)
2) This is actually stupid but, I'm still too young to see the concert myself so I need to arrange someone who is interested to go see it with me. My family doesn't want to see it so i'm going to ask one of my friends ,who loves music, and see if he would like to come along.

Tickets are $102.50 and I'm broke so I've asked mum if she can allow it to be an early Christmas present, and she said yes. So this means I've got permission, the price worked out and how I'm getting there.

I CAN HARDLY WAIT!
Peace out y'all!

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